Thursday, May 8, 2014

Masturbation in the Movies - (or possibly at the Movies)

In honor of Mssturbation Month, I present a list of my favorite movie masturbation scenes. To be clear - these are masturbation scenes from mainstream movies, not from porn. There are a lot of fantastic masturbation scenes in porn movies but they are far too numerous to mention here.

So here we go:

1. Nine and Half Weeks.
This is one of my favorite movies. Sure, it's twisted and flawed, but I love the portrayal of a woman confronted with sexual desires she's never experienced before. Elizabeth (played by Kim Basinger) is at work, reviewing slides for an upcoming art show. Alone in the dark room, staring at these images, she is overcome by eroticism and thoughts of her hot new lover and pleasures herself right then and there. She is so involved in herself, it is extremely hot.

2. Pleasantville.
A family goes back in time to an era where everything was easy and life was lived in black and white. But when Betty (Joan Allen) opens herself up to the possibility of pleasure and begins touching herself in the bathtub, her world turns to vibrant color.

3. Black Swan.
One of the most twisted, fucked up masturbation scenes ever. Not because of the masturbation scene but because it's almost impossible to figure out what's real and what's not. And it's Natalie Portman fantasizing about Mila Kunis and that's pretty hot.

4. Not Another Teen Movie.
The depiction of masturbation in this movie is kind of negative so I'm not a huge fan of that. But the opening scene with Janey masturbating while watching the teen movie 'She's All That' is hilarious. I only wish the amazing rotating vibrator she plays with was real.

5. Slums of Beverly Hills.
This story of sexual awakening is a lot more realistic than most. In one scene, Vivian discovers her cousin's vibrator.

6. The To Do List.
Lots of sex in this movie too, but there is a pretty realistic scene where Brandy crosses masturbation off her list. I like that this movie featured a young woman getting a lot of action solely in the name of self-discovery. Usually only guys are allowed to do that in movies. And even though her final goal was that one particular guy, she realized that perhaps sex and love aren't the same after all. And that's not a bad thing.

7. The Secretary
One of my all time favorite movies about a young woman coming to understand that her natural sexual inclinations might not be typical. There is a lot of sex and sexual innuendo in this one but there is a double jerk-off scenes where her boss comes on her back and she runs off the bathroom to get herself off. There's a few other choice self-love snippets as well. Oh ya, and it's Maggie Gyllenhaal - enough said.

These are my favorites because they feature female masturbation which is much more rare than depictions of male masturbation. They are mostly positive depictions as well - with the possible exception of Not Another Teen Movie. That movie takes a fun, humorous approach though. At one point, Janey openly admits to someone that she masturbates to 'She's All That'.

Other notable movies featuring great masturbation scenes are:
FastTimes At Ridgemont High (I considered this sex education when I saw it at 12 years old)
Shame (takes a bit of a troublesome approach to sex addiction but come on, Michael Fassbender in the shower?)
ShortBus (there's a whole lot of sex in this movie and some interesting scenes of masturbation, mutual masturbation, and being watched while masturbating)
But I'm a Cheerleader
Private Parts (Howard Stern is not my favorite, but getting someone off over the radio through the bass on the speaker is pretty awesome)

Some TV Shows Worth Mentioning:
Mad Men - Betty Draper discovers the washing machine.
Sex and the City - Charlotte discovers the Rabbit and Samantha breaks her wand
Friends - Monica thinks she's caught Chandler masturbating to Shark Attack. I loved this episode because when Monica walks in on him getting off and thinks he was watching Shark Attack (he had quickly changed the channel from the porn he had on), she doesn't freak out. She gets him a shark video for them to watch together.

For a bonus treat, check out this cute little movie masturbation mashup on HuffPo.

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