Yesterday, the St. Albert public school board voted to draft a policy on gender identity and sexual orientation. Yay! They are following the lead of the Edmonton Public School Board which happens to be the first and only in Alberta to have such a policy. See, this is the thing, people talk all the time about how backward Alberta is and yet in so many ways, it's so not true. Whenever I say that, people throw Bill 44 in my face. Okay, Bill 44 is stupid, unnecessary and truly morally reprehensible but the thing to remember is that it was our provincial government that passed that stupid bill, it was never voted on by the public. They did Bill 44 to try to pacify some vocal minorities that were pissed off about the addition of orientation to the Alberta Human Right Act. I'm not saying it was okay, it most certainly was not, all I'm saying is that I don't believe most Albertans supported that bill. In fact, the ATA opposed it and so did most teachers individually.
What public school teachers and administrators are doing in Alberta is something quite other than what they are doing in the legislature. The Edmonton Public School Board voted for, drafted and approved a policy specifically addressing their views on queer issues and how transgendered, gender queer and queer and questioning students are to be treated in schools. Their particular concern in this was to make sure that all students, but in particular queer and gender-queer students who are often the object of violence and bullying, are safe and supported in schools.
They not only went and ahead and did this, but they also then went to other school boards across the provinces and encouraged them to use their template and follow their example. Pretty cool, I think. Now St. Albert has taken them up on it.
Sure a written policy isn't the answer to all the problems within the school system but it's a major step in the right direction. It makes it clear to LGBTQQ students and their friends and families that they are supported by the school board and it gives them all some recourse when they aren't treated with respect and dignity. It can only help.
Good on you, St. Albert public school board.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Monday, February 11, 2013
My Awkward Sexual Adventure and other Valentine's Movies
I went to the Metro (which, by the way, completely rocks and if you live in Edmonton and don't hang out there, you need to start now) last Friday and saw the movie 'My Awkward Sexual Adventure'. It's one of Canada's top ten movies of the year. It's playing again on Valentine's Day so that got me thinking about movies that would be good to watch on Valentine's Day.
Now if you are into traditionally romantic movies, you don't need me, look here. If you read this blog, you'll know that I am not traditional so my suggestions are for the more twisted view on what Valentine's Day might be.
Your best bet for V-Day is the Metro! At 7pm, they are playing Amelie. This French film which is fun and sweet and quirky and really must be seen. It's great for couples, a first date, or friends. At 9:30, they play My Awkward Sexual Adventure. This is not so sweet and tame as Amelie but not all that terribly raunchy either. There's a lot of nudity, which is good. It's a funny movie, mainly about character and about what we really want, not just in our sex lives but in life in general. It has a rather conventional ending, but because of all of the non-conventional stuff throughout, it's not so hard to take. The acting is lovely and the writing is good. But the toys are terrible - do not buy toys that you see in this movie. Their bondage gear is quite good though - I think they might have got it from Aslan.
Other suggestions:
Silver Linings Playbook - if you like romantic comedies, this is a really good one. The characters are complex and the story - while the same basic plot as a conventional romantic comedy - is actual complex. It treats people in a realistic way and is pretty truthful in the way is deals with mental health problems. If you are or ever have been somewhat nuts, you'll identify with this story. I think this is still in theatres but if not, the DVD is out so you can get it on TV on demand.
Sexual Chronicles of A French Family - I suppose this movie is romantic in a weird kind of way. It does show a lot of couples who seem to really love each other. There's lot of nudity and lots of sex but it's presented in a very direct way, with no shame at all. It's fascinating because of how different this French family is in the way they deal with their kids and sex. I caught this one on Netflix.
500 Days of Summer - this is a great one if you hate Valentine's Day or if don't hate it, you just think romantic love is bullshit. This movie takes the usual male/female paradigm and turns it on its head - with the guy being the hopeless romantic and the girl being the one who's just out for a good time. I think you can get this on netflix too.
Better Than Chocolate - hot, hot, hot - funny and lovely - watch it! It's an older movie - might be a little harder to find.
Crimes of Passion (1984) - this is messed up but hot in its own way. If you like twisted old movies that are so weird they teeter on the fence between really bad and really good, you'll like this. Not too much explicit sex but lots of implications of it - and lots of leather - and a very odd scene with a stiletto.
Sex and the City the Movie - Say whatever you want about this movie, it's the best girlfriend movie out there. If you are spending Valentine's Day with your best friends, get this and some cosmos.
Breakfast at Tiffany's - I finally just saw this movie a few weeks ago and it was not what I was expecting. If you are looking for something romantic that isn't cliche or predictable, this is it. The two main characters are interesting, quirky and likeable while at the same time, leading lives that put them on the bottom of the social strata. It's a beautiful little ode to loneliness, self-identify, and self-respect. And it ends up being sweet and romantic to boot.
What Dreams May Come - this is hands down the most romantic movie I've ever seen but also one of the scariest and darkest. If you are in the mood for a bit of soul-searching and a big 'ol bawl fest, watch this one. This is a great one to watch by yourself or with someone else who appreciates a sad movie.
and of course
Les Miserables - This might not strike you as the typical romantic movie but afterall, Les Mis is an ode to love. 'Remember the words that once were spoken - to love another person is to see the face of God'. Les Mis is about love of children, love of family, love of lovers, love of country, love of home - and defending those things to your death. See it with someone who loves musical theatre and is not afraid to get swept away. Great date movie and a great girlfriend movie. (and Enjolras is super hot)
Now if you are into traditionally romantic movies, you don't need me, look here. If you read this blog, you'll know that I am not traditional so my suggestions are for the more twisted view on what Valentine's Day might be.
Your best bet for V-Day is the Metro! At 7pm, they are playing Amelie. This French film which is fun and sweet and quirky and really must be seen. It's great for couples, a first date, or friends. At 9:30, they play My Awkward Sexual Adventure. This is not so sweet and tame as Amelie but not all that terribly raunchy either. There's a lot of nudity, which is good. It's a funny movie, mainly about character and about what we really want, not just in our sex lives but in life in general. It has a rather conventional ending, but because of all of the non-conventional stuff throughout, it's not so hard to take. The acting is lovely and the writing is good. But the toys are terrible - do not buy toys that you see in this movie. Their bondage gear is quite good though - I think they might have got it from Aslan.
Other suggestions:
Silver Linings Playbook - if you like romantic comedies, this is a really good one. The characters are complex and the story - while the same basic plot as a conventional romantic comedy - is actual complex. It treats people in a realistic way and is pretty truthful in the way is deals with mental health problems. If you are or ever have been somewhat nuts, you'll identify with this story. I think this is still in theatres but if not, the DVD is out so you can get it on TV on demand.
Sexual Chronicles of A French Family - I suppose this movie is romantic in a weird kind of way. It does show a lot of couples who seem to really love each other. There's lot of nudity and lots of sex but it's presented in a very direct way, with no shame at all. It's fascinating because of how different this French family is in the way they deal with their kids and sex. I caught this one on Netflix.
500 Days of Summer - this is a great one if you hate Valentine's Day or if don't hate it, you just think romantic love is bullshit. This movie takes the usual male/female paradigm and turns it on its head - with the guy being the hopeless romantic and the girl being the one who's just out for a good time. I think you can get this on netflix too.
Better Than Chocolate - hot, hot, hot - funny and lovely - watch it! It's an older movie - might be a little harder to find.
Crimes of Passion (1984) - this is messed up but hot in its own way. If you like twisted old movies that are so weird they teeter on the fence between really bad and really good, you'll like this. Not too much explicit sex but lots of implications of it - and lots of leather - and a very odd scene with a stiletto.
Sex and the City the Movie - Say whatever you want about this movie, it's the best girlfriend movie out there. If you are spending Valentine's Day with your best friends, get this and some cosmos.
Breakfast at Tiffany's - I finally just saw this movie a few weeks ago and it was not what I was expecting. If you are looking for something romantic that isn't cliche or predictable, this is it. The two main characters are interesting, quirky and likeable while at the same time, leading lives that put them on the bottom of the social strata. It's a beautiful little ode to loneliness, self-identify, and self-respect. And it ends up being sweet and romantic to boot.
What Dreams May Come - this is hands down the most romantic movie I've ever seen but also one of the scariest and darkest. If you are in the mood for a bit of soul-searching and a big 'ol bawl fest, watch this one. This is a great one to watch by yourself or with someone else who appreciates a sad movie.
and of course
Les Miserables - This might not strike you as the typical romantic movie but afterall, Les Mis is an ode to love. 'Remember the words that once were spoken - to love another person is to see the face of God'. Les Mis is about love of children, love of family, love of lovers, love of country, love of home - and defending those things to your death. See it with someone who loves musical theatre and is not afraid to get swept away. Great date movie and a great girlfriend movie. (and Enjolras is super hot)
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Hello Hype
Every toy news mag, site and blog I have looked at in the last week has featured the new JimmyJane toy called Hello Touch. Seriously, you can't get away from this thing. Absolutely everyone is talking about it. A psychologist friend just told me that the urologist she works with is telling people to buy this toy. So I thought I should put in my two cents on Jimmy Jane's 'Hello Touch'.
The first time I saw a picture of this toy, I immediately dismissed it. I knew right away that it was something we would never bother carrying. After almost 14 years in the toy biz, I can tell pretty quick when something is not worth my time. I would have ignored its existence altogether except that JimmyJane is such a wunderkind with the media that it's become quite impossible to ignore. So I haven't actually had this toy in my hands. Let's just get that out of the way to be fair. Never having seen this thing, I could be wrong, but I doubt it.
If you happen not to have seen it yet, this is it.
Oooh, ahhh! It's so space-aged! It straps to your fingers and makes them vibrate. The press releases on this toy are describing it as the best technological advance in toys in years. Really? There are two things wrong with that statement. First of all, there's this:
Seems somewhat similar doesn't it? This toy has been around since before I started working with toys. So I would beg to differ that it's all that terribly new. But that's not news for Jimmy Jane. Nothing they've done has been new. In fact the vast majority of their toys are actually exact replicas of other company's toys made for them by those manufacturers and packaged under the Jimmy Jane brand. Jimmy Jane is not the first name in innovation.
Then there's this:
This glove has a vibrator in every finger. This toy has been around for just over ten years.
So yeah, not all that new. One of my big beefs with Jimmy Jane is not just that they copy everybody else's designs, it's that they then put them in fancy packaging and think it justifies doubling the price. The yoni toy is $34. The Hello Touch is $67. The Fukuoku, which contains 5 vibrators instead of two and is much more powerful and durable, is $67.
I have some concerns about the Hello Touch. It seems like it would be very easy to break. The cords are small. I know how I treat my toys and I know better. It would probably last about two uses in my house. It also uses an extremely rare AAAA battery. It comes with one but of course, that's going to die eventually. AAAA batteries are very hard to find. For that reason alone, we won't carry this toy. A $67 toy that is essentially one use is not good value. I read a review that said that the buttons on the toy are hard to push - so it would be hard to control. I also have a problem with overly complicated toys. To use this thing, you have to strap three different parts to your hand. That may seem like no big deal, but when you just want to get on with it, that's a lot. This is kind of like the 'Fixsation' - that's a little vibe that fits into a garter type strap thing. I kind of liked the toy, it felt good. But it took me a good 15 minutes to get it all together and get the straps on straight. I've never used it again because of that. I also don't see a lot of multiple use potential with the Hello Touch. The vibes are teeny tiny and would really only worked when strapped to fingers. I like toys that can be used in a variety of ways.
So second, of all, on the innovation point, have the people who are claiming this is the most innovative toy in years ever seen this?
This is the Stonic Eins from FunFactory which actually moves back and forth. That's right. It moves! It pulsates, gyrates, physically moves in and out of you.
or this:
This is the Lelo Tiani - a toy with a wifi remote that responds to movement. It's the nintendo Wii of sex toys.
The Hello Touch can't even compete in the same playground as these toys in terms of innovation.
The hype on this toy is just that, hype. Having said that, Jimmy Jane does produce well built toys. I don't like the designs and I think they are overpriced but they are decent quality. So the Hello Touch is probably not junk like so many toys - it's probably just very fragile and would have to be treated with great care. I actively discourage people from buying Jimmy Jane toys but if this is one that you really think is right for you, it's likely to be all right. It's certainly not dangerous. You just might never be able to replace the battery.
Never buy into the hype around toys. The press is almost always because the company has good press connections, not because the toy is that good. Find a store that will put the toy in your hands so you can find out exactly what its all about before you buy it. Or a store like ours where they make considered decisions about which toys to get - you'll find that some of the most talked about toys in history aren't at the Tickle Trunk and there's a reason for that.
The first time I saw a picture of this toy, I immediately dismissed it. I knew right away that it was something we would never bother carrying. After almost 14 years in the toy biz, I can tell pretty quick when something is not worth my time. I would have ignored its existence altogether except that JimmyJane is such a wunderkind with the media that it's become quite impossible to ignore. So I haven't actually had this toy in my hands. Let's just get that out of the way to be fair. Never having seen this thing, I could be wrong, but I doubt it.
If you happen not to have seen it yet, this is it.
Oooh, ahhh! It's so space-aged! It straps to your fingers and makes them vibrate. The press releases on this toy are describing it as the best technological advance in toys in years. Really? There are two things wrong with that statement. First of all, there's this:
Seems somewhat similar doesn't it? This toy has been around since before I started working with toys. So I would beg to differ that it's all that terribly new. But that's not news for Jimmy Jane. Nothing they've done has been new. In fact the vast majority of their toys are actually exact replicas of other company's toys made for them by those manufacturers and packaged under the Jimmy Jane brand. Jimmy Jane is not the first name in innovation.
Then there's this:
This glove has a vibrator in every finger. This toy has been around for just over ten years.
So yeah, not all that new. One of my big beefs with Jimmy Jane is not just that they copy everybody else's designs, it's that they then put them in fancy packaging and think it justifies doubling the price. The yoni toy is $34. The Hello Touch is $67. The Fukuoku, which contains 5 vibrators instead of two and is much more powerful and durable, is $67.
I have some concerns about the Hello Touch. It seems like it would be very easy to break. The cords are small. I know how I treat my toys and I know better. It would probably last about two uses in my house. It also uses an extremely rare AAAA battery. It comes with one but of course, that's going to die eventually. AAAA batteries are very hard to find. For that reason alone, we won't carry this toy. A $67 toy that is essentially one use is not good value. I read a review that said that the buttons on the toy are hard to push - so it would be hard to control. I also have a problem with overly complicated toys. To use this thing, you have to strap three different parts to your hand. That may seem like no big deal, but when you just want to get on with it, that's a lot. This is kind of like the 'Fixsation' - that's a little vibe that fits into a garter type strap thing. I kind of liked the toy, it felt good. But it took me a good 15 minutes to get it all together and get the straps on straight. I've never used it again because of that. I also don't see a lot of multiple use potential with the Hello Touch. The vibes are teeny tiny and would really only worked when strapped to fingers. I like toys that can be used in a variety of ways.
So second, of all, on the innovation point, have the people who are claiming this is the most innovative toy in years ever seen this?
This is the Stonic Eins from FunFactory which actually moves back and forth. That's right. It moves! It pulsates, gyrates, physically moves in and out of you.
or this:
This is the Lelo Tiani - a toy with a wifi remote that responds to movement. It's the nintendo Wii of sex toys.
The Hello Touch can't even compete in the same playground as these toys in terms of innovation.
The hype on this toy is just that, hype. Having said that, Jimmy Jane does produce well built toys. I don't like the designs and I think they are overpriced but they are decent quality. So the Hello Touch is probably not junk like so many toys - it's probably just very fragile and would have to be treated with great care. I actively discourage people from buying Jimmy Jane toys but if this is one that you really think is right for you, it's likely to be all right. It's certainly not dangerous. You just might never be able to replace the battery.
Never buy into the hype around toys. The press is almost always because the company has good press connections, not because the toy is that good. Find a store that will put the toy in your hands so you can find out exactly what its all about before you buy it. Or a store like ours where they make considered decisions about which toys to get - you'll find that some of the most talked about toys in history aren't at the Tickle Trunk and there's a reason for that.
Monday, January 28, 2013
It's Official, 'Girls' Sucks
I have watched the HBO series Girls since its start last year. I heard a lot about it in advance, both positive and negative, and thought it might be up my alley. I watched last season with consternation. I liked some aspects of it and completely disliked others. But I kept watching because I felt like there was maybe something there that just hadn't fully formed yet. I liked that most of the sex seemed to be more honest than what you normally see on TV - it's awkward and people are often confused or less than satisfied. I like that Hannah is not stereotypically beautiful. I wouldn't say the character is confident about her body but she isn't particularly shameful about it either. I like that we see her naked often even though she's not thin and she doesn't have perfect boobs. I also like that the characters are deeply flawed. I think it's fun to have a main character that's not all that likeable.
HOWEVER. None of that was enough to keep me liking it after last night's episode. In fact, when it was over, I flew into an irrational rage that I'm sure my partner thought was hilarious.
Here's what pisses me off the most about this show. It's about 20 something women living in Manhattan figuring out who they are. But they never really seem to figure anything out or even be trying to. They don't even seem to care. The show focuses on their boyfriends and their sexual adventures. This is what really boils my potatoes about TV shows about women. Sure, we have lots of them now, but we cannot seem to ever have a show about women that doesn't focus on their pursuit of men. On this episode Hannah, who lives in what appears to be a pretty expensive apartment in Manhattan and works part time at a coffee shop, tries cocaine for the first time because an on-line magazine editor suggested she write about it. Her decision to do this is quite inexplicable, her willingness to do it doubly so, and how she goes about procuring the cocaine even more so. No mention is made of how she pays for this. She works part-time at a coffee shop and is doing this in order to make $200 by selling an article. She really can't afford cocaine? But she does it anyway and the 'hilarious' series of events that follows finally leads to her declaring that she hates her roommate and that he must move out because he had sex with her friend. Yes, I can understand why her feelings would be hurt but Hannah HAS NO MONEY! She can't really afford to throw her roommate out on the street because she got her feelings hurt. Why this means so very much to her is unclear to me anyway. Her roommate is gay - yes they used to date but it was eons ago - she has some silly fantasy that she was his last heterosexual sexual experience and that this is somehow the only reason they can be friends. In the last season, she pissed off her previous roommate (the friend that Elijah fucked) so she moved out, she alienated a guy who seemed to love her so her didn't move in even though he wanted to. And now she has kicked out this roommate. She never thinks about the consequences of her actions and there never seem to be any.
Similarly her friend Marnie has lost her art gallery job and has taken a job as a hostess at a lounge - just to pay her bills. In the previous episode, she takes a strip out of Hannah for criticizing her choice to take this job,saying how much money she will make and that she needs the money. But in this episode, she just walks out of her job because a hot guy from the gallery she used to work at invites her to his place. She just walks away from her job - doesn't even tell anyone that she's leaving. Again - consequences be damned.
So what bugs me about this is that it makes these women look like idiots. They are overly emotional, impulsive and immature. What guys think of them is of the utmost importance to them - so much so that they will do things that put them in financial peril just to save face with a guy or to get a chance to be with a hot guy. That makes me nuts.
What also bothers me about it is that it seems like the producers of girls think that the only interesting thing about women is their sex lives. Their jobs, their friendships, how they make their decisions, their families - all of that is not the least bit interesting, viewers only want to know about their boyfriends and their sex lives. In the very first episode of girls, Hannah's parents take her out to dinner and tell her that they are not going to give her any more money. From this point on, she will have to take care of herself. I loved that scene and the premise. I thought it was going to be a great show about what happens when your privileged suburban girl life comes crashing down around you and you have to face reality, find a job, pay your bills and make your own way. That's a show I'm interested in. But it wasn't about that. Hannah lost her source of income and.......it didn't matter at all. She doesn't seem all that concerned about it and is somehow managing to survive with temporary and part-time jobs. By herself in a two bedroom apartment in Manhattan.
Maybe it's because I'm so much older than these characters that I can't relate to them. Maybe its a 20-something thing to not really know or care how you're going to support yourself, to not really be trying that hard to build a career for yourself. But I know when I was 20 I was not like that. Even though I love my parents and they would give me anything I needed, I would have rather stuck a hot poker in my eye than had them pay my rent. And I would not have spent all my time gazing at my navel wondering whether a guy likes me or whether I like him and I would not have walked out of a job I needed just to fuck a hot guy (I would have made arrangements to fuck him later).
So Girls, I'm done. If you start portraying your characters like intelligent women, I may come back, but until then, so long, farewell, auf wiederzehn, goodbye.
HOWEVER. None of that was enough to keep me liking it after last night's episode. In fact, when it was over, I flew into an irrational rage that I'm sure my partner thought was hilarious.
Here's what pisses me off the most about this show. It's about 20 something women living in Manhattan figuring out who they are. But they never really seem to figure anything out or even be trying to. They don't even seem to care. The show focuses on their boyfriends and their sexual adventures. This is what really boils my potatoes about TV shows about women. Sure, we have lots of them now, but we cannot seem to ever have a show about women that doesn't focus on their pursuit of men. On this episode Hannah, who lives in what appears to be a pretty expensive apartment in Manhattan and works part time at a coffee shop, tries cocaine for the first time because an on-line magazine editor suggested she write about it. Her decision to do this is quite inexplicable, her willingness to do it doubly so, and how she goes about procuring the cocaine even more so. No mention is made of how she pays for this. She works part-time at a coffee shop and is doing this in order to make $200 by selling an article. She really can't afford cocaine? But she does it anyway and the 'hilarious' series of events that follows finally leads to her declaring that she hates her roommate and that he must move out because he had sex with her friend. Yes, I can understand why her feelings would be hurt but Hannah HAS NO MONEY! She can't really afford to throw her roommate out on the street because she got her feelings hurt. Why this means so very much to her is unclear to me anyway. Her roommate is gay - yes they used to date but it was eons ago - she has some silly fantasy that she was his last heterosexual sexual experience and that this is somehow the only reason they can be friends. In the last season, she pissed off her previous roommate (the friend that Elijah fucked) so she moved out, she alienated a guy who seemed to love her so her didn't move in even though he wanted to. And now she has kicked out this roommate. She never thinks about the consequences of her actions and there never seem to be any.
Similarly her friend Marnie has lost her art gallery job and has taken a job as a hostess at a lounge - just to pay her bills. In the previous episode, she takes a strip out of Hannah for criticizing her choice to take this job,saying how much money she will make and that she needs the money. But in this episode, she just walks out of her job because a hot guy from the gallery she used to work at invites her to his place. She just walks away from her job - doesn't even tell anyone that she's leaving. Again - consequences be damned.
So what bugs me about this is that it makes these women look like idiots. They are overly emotional, impulsive and immature. What guys think of them is of the utmost importance to them - so much so that they will do things that put them in financial peril just to save face with a guy or to get a chance to be with a hot guy. That makes me nuts.
What also bothers me about it is that it seems like the producers of girls think that the only interesting thing about women is their sex lives. Their jobs, their friendships, how they make their decisions, their families - all of that is not the least bit interesting, viewers only want to know about their boyfriends and their sex lives. In the very first episode of girls, Hannah's parents take her out to dinner and tell her that they are not going to give her any more money. From this point on, she will have to take care of herself. I loved that scene and the premise. I thought it was going to be a great show about what happens when your privileged suburban girl life comes crashing down around you and you have to face reality, find a job, pay your bills and make your own way. That's a show I'm interested in. But it wasn't about that. Hannah lost her source of income and.......it didn't matter at all. She doesn't seem all that concerned about it and is somehow managing to survive with temporary and part-time jobs. By herself in a two bedroom apartment in Manhattan.
Maybe it's because I'm so much older than these characters that I can't relate to them. Maybe its a 20-something thing to not really know or care how you're going to support yourself, to not really be trying that hard to build a career for yourself. But I know when I was 20 I was not like that. Even though I love my parents and they would give me anything I needed, I would have rather stuck a hot poker in my eye than had them pay my rent. And I would not have spent all my time gazing at my navel wondering whether a guy likes me or whether I like him and I would not have walked out of a job I needed just to fuck a hot guy (I would have made arrangements to fuck him later).
So Girls, I'm done. If you start portraying your characters like intelligent women, I may come back, but until then, so long, farewell, auf wiederzehn, goodbye.
Monday, January 7, 2013
After Porn Ends
Over the holidays, I watched a documentary called 'After Porn Ends'. It's the stories of a number of people who were in the porn industry (mostly actors). Some of them are still in the industry in one way or another but most of them no longer do it for a living.
All of the various arguments I've heard and have had about porn, seem to come back to the question of whether the industry is inherently exploitative and abusive - ie. will doing porn mess you up for life?
This documentary made something quite clear to me that Nina Hartley - former porn actress and current porn producer and director articulates in the film. If you are someone who is lonely, craving attention, prone to addictions, vulnerable to abusive relationships, and/or confused about how you feel about your body and the value of sex, you will probably find and be attracted to in porn exactly what you don't need. You will find people who will prey on your insecurities and who will take advantage of your vulnerabilities. You will likely be confused about how you feel about it and ultimately end up feeling shameful and regretful. You will likely have an extremely negative experience. If you are someone who is confident about your body and who understands how you feel about and value sex, if you are someone who is confident about yourself in general and is able to handle yourself and set good boundaries that makes sense for your life, you will likely find in porn exactly what you need. You will find opportunities to make money and build a career whether in the porn industry or outside of it. You will feel good about what you're doing because you will understand the things that make you feel bad and will avoid them. You will stay in the industry as long as it works for you and when you feel that it is hurting you or is no longer beneficial, you will get out.
So are there a lot of victims of abuse in the porn industry? Are there a lot of alcoholics and drug addicts? Are there a lot of people who regret what they've done? Yes, yes and yes. But look at it from another angle and you can see that this is the case with any type of entertainment genre. You could say exactly the same thing about movies, television, music, and modelling. In fact, there are a lot of industries about which you could say the same thing. Is it necessarily the sex aspect that causes the problem? I think that's only a small part of it.
The documentary shows both scenarios pretty clearly. There are several people featured who were abused and/or feel that what they did was abuse. They regret their involvement in it and some have even dedicated a good part of their life to trying to keep others from doing it. There are others who feel that it was very beneficial for them. Some of them built big names and big careers for themselves. Some of them just enjoyed having sex on camera for a living.
I think the experience will depend mostly on the individual and then mainly on the people they meet and work with in the industry. There is good and there is bad.
'After Porn Ends' is not an exhaustive look at all of the aspects of the porn industry but it offers very interesting perspectives from the people that know it best - the people who have done it.
All of the various arguments I've heard and have had about porn, seem to come back to the question of whether the industry is inherently exploitative and abusive - ie. will doing porn mess you up for life?
This documentary made something quite clear to me that Nina Hartley - former porn actress and current porn producer and director articulates in the film. If you are someone who is lonely, craving attention, prone to addictions, vulnerable to abusive relationships, and/or confused about how you feel about your body and the value of sex, you will probably find and be attracted to in porn exactly what you don't need. You will find people who will prey on your insecurities and who will take advantage of your vulnerabilities. You will likely be confused about how you feel about it and ultimately end up feeling shameful and regretful. You will likely have an extremely negative experience. If you are someone who is confident about your body and who understands how you feel about and value sex, if you are someone who is confident about yourself in general and is able to handle yourself and set good boundaries that makes sense for your life, you will likely find in porn exactly what you need. You will find opportunities to make money and build a career whether in the porn industry or outside of it. You will feel good about what you're doing because you will understand the things that make you feel bad and will avoid them. You will stay in the industry as long as it works for you and when you feel that it is hurting you or is no longer beneficial, you will get out.
So are there a lot of victims of abuse in the porn industry? Are there a lot of alcoholics and drug addicts? Are there a lot of people who regret what they've done? Yes, yes and yes. But look at it from another angle and you can see that this is the case with any type of entertainment genre. You could say exactly the same thing about movies, television, music, and modelling. In fact, there are a lot of industries about which you could say the same thing. Is it necessarily the sex aspect that causes the problem? I think that's only a small part of it.
The documentary shows both scenarios pretty clearly. There are several people featured who were abused and/or feel that what they did was abuse. They regret their involvement in it and some have even dedicated a good part of their life to trying to keep others from doing it. There are others who feel that it was very beneficial for them. Some of them built big names and big careers for themselves. Some of them just enjoyed having sex on camera for a living.
I think the experience will depend mostly on the individual and then mainly on the people they meet and work with in the industry. There is good and there is bad.
'After Porn Ends' is not an exhaustive look at all of the aspects of the porn industry but it offers very interesting perspectives from the people that know it best - the people who have done it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
