Don't Put This Up There Either!

What is it with the vagina cures lately? I cannot open a browser without finding some story about things to do to your yoni and why it is or isn't a good idea.

I saw this one awhile ago and just left it alone but apparently it's picking up steam (pun intended). Apparently Gwyneth Paltrow thinks you should steam your bits. She recommends a spa in Los Angeles that will (for a hefty price I imagine) sit you on a pot of steaming Mugwort. It should go without saying, but it seems it doesn't, that this is a bad idea. Sitting on a pot of boiling water will obviously make the vulva and vaginal canal quite hot. Heat changes the ph balance. That leads to an imbalance in the bacteria which leads to infections. Doctors actually warn people who are quite prone to yeast infections to limit the hot baths and hot tubs.

I have no idea what mugwort does to the vaginal environment. I just know you don't need it.

Gyneth Paltrow is neither a sexual health educator nor a gynecologist. She is not qualified to tell people what they need to do to take care of their reproductive health. Please do not steam your vagina, no matter what she says.

Also in the land of 'don't put that up there', it seems the herbal detox sticks are not going anywhere. Remember these? I wrote about this way back in 2012 and just last February. Here's a recent article discussing, yet again, why sticking pumice stones in your vagina is not a good idea. The article quotes Dr. Jen Gunter, who's been very critical of all the vaginal detox crazes, in particular, the infamous tea bags.

Let me repeat, because it seems to need repeating, your vagina doesn't need to be cleaned or detox. It's awesome all by itself. Leave it alone. Don't put anything in there that shouldn't go in there.

Here for easy reference, is a list of things you can safely put in your vagina:

clean fingers (yours or someone else's, totally up to you)
clean penises
clean, body safe sex toys (go here to find out what's body safe)
tampons (although we could certainly have a discussion about this)
lubricants with body safe ingredients (go here to find out what's body safe)
medically approved contraceptive devices
condoms over top of clean penises or clean, body safe sex toys

Anything else is at best unnecessary and at worst, dangerous. Your vagina doesn't need your help, it's great all by itself. Relax and enjoy it.

Please Don't Put That Up There!!!!

I've been away from my blog for quite some time. I've kept meaning to come back but nothing has really compelled me to get off my butt and start writing more. Until yesterday.

I noticed an article about 'vagina pearls' - little herbal teabags for your cooch that are supposed to cleanse and detoxify it.

I have seen all kind of crap that's supposed to clean and deodorize vaginas and all it is terrible but this is really, really bad. Why? Because the people who make these little tea bags are telling people to take 3 of them, stuff them up there, and leave them for three days!!

I didn't believe this was really a thing so I did quite a bit of searching and discovered that yes, this has really caught on. There is a website selling these things and several distributors who have posted a number of youtube videos explaining how they will change your life.

The claim is that these tiny teabags contain herbs that basically make your vagina into a teapot that steeps an herbal tea for your 'womb'. They say these herbal concoctions can cure everything from yeast infections, to fibroids, to infertility. According to these folks, there is all kinds of 'garbage' sitting up in your uterus and the herbs act as dump trucks which drive around there, collect it all, and dump it out. I am not kidding, one of the people in the video actually uses this analogy. Worse, they say that it is completely normal, and a sign of these working, to see all kind of nasty stuff come out of you after you've had these in you for three days. Worse still, the videos show pictures of the yuck that comes out. Do not look at this video unless you have a very strong stomach.

I don't even know where to start with what's wrong with this.

First of all, as I have said many, many, many times, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOUR VAGINA!!!! Vaginas and vulvas have a natural odor that we have been conditioned in our society to think of as disagreeable. It is not foul, some people just think it is. The solution to this is simply keeping the vulva clean. That will minimize body odor. If there is a stronger smell than simple body odor, it probably means you have an infection and should see a doctor. You don't need to, and should never, clean inside the vagina. Doing this can upset the ph balance and allow overgrowth of bacteria. Look at this site telling someone that what is clearly a raging yeast infection is a normal and healthy part of using these pearls.

Second, the anatomy is completely wrong here. How they possibly think this vagina tea is going to get into the uterus and up to the fallopian tubes (because it's supposed to unblock the tubes is beyond me). Gravity is working against you here. The cervix doesn't just suck up anything that goes in there. If it did, we would all be at constant risk of serious uterine infections. That is actually why doctors advise those in the last stages of pregnancy to be somewhat careful about the cleanliness of anything that goes into the vagina. The cervix is beginning to open and it's possible to cause an infection by something getting into the uterus. That vagina tea is just not going to go in there and if it did, that would be a very, very, very bad thing.

Third, there are no dead skin cells in your vagina. There is actually no skin in your vagina. The epithelium is made of quite different cells than skin. They have a different purpose and operate differently. Any cells shed from the epithelium are naturally absorbed in the body. We do not need to exfoliate that vagina. In fact, doing so is flat out dangerous. Scraping the walls of the vagina causes damage to that epithelium which can then lead to an increased risk of infection and development of scar tissue.

Fourth, speaking of scar tissue, most of us don't have any in our vaginas. The youtube videos show gunk that they claim is scar tissue. It is possible to have scar tissue in the vagina but that is unusual. It pretty much only happens as a result of a serious infection or an injury during childbirth, surgery or other trauma. Scar tissue can result from radiation therapy as well. The treatment for scar tissue is absolutely not scraping the vagina or using herbal remedies. This must be handled by a physician or physiotherapist. It can be removed by surgery or by therapies which help to stretch and dissolve it. This has to be handled with care by someone who is knowledgeable about such things. Messing with it can cause more damage and infections that lead to more scar tissue.

I've written about things like this a lot so why has this one in particular got me so upset. My big worry hear is that the instructions are to leave these little teabags in the vagina for three days. Leaving anything, but particularly some absorbent like this, in the vagina for more than a few hours at a time can lead to toxic shock syndrome. TSS is a dangerous buildup of staph bacteria - basically the bacteria gets trapped and held in that absorbant thing and grows. The longer it's in there, the more the bacteria can grow. Staph is very very dangerous. TSS CAN BE FATAL! It causes low blood pressure, high fever, and seizure, all of which can kill you. The fact that these little pearls simply won't work and that they could lead to bacterial vaginosis and other infections is bad enough, but these little things could actually kill you. TSS is not something to play with. You should never ever ever leave anything in your vagina (except a nuva ring or other medically approved contraceptive device) for more than a few hours.

It scares me to death that people who know absolutely nothing about reproductive health are advising people to use this. There are many testimonials from people on their website and the youtube videos saying how much 'stuff' came out of their vagina and how much better they feel now. I am worried for their health. I am baffled that somehow these people think it is acceptable to advise people to do something which they have absolutely no proof is effective much less safe.

Please don't ever do this and if you know of anyone who has done it or is talking about doing it, tell them to please don't.

Why Aren't We More Concerned About Rentboy?

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Just When I Thought I'd Seen Everything - There's the Ovipositor

What's fun about sex and sex toys is that you've never really seen or heard of everything. Thee will always be something that's new to you.

Last week, I ran across something that was new to me - the Ovipositor.

If the picture is not doing it for you, let me explain. This is a toy that simulates the experience of an alien laying eggs inside your body. Yes, you read that right - this is a thing. I'm actually not all that surprised by this. There are lots of people that are interested in science fiction and the idea of aliens. Some people have sexual fantasies about this. Why wouldn't they? It makes a lot of sense to me that some people would find the idea of sex with an alien creature exciting. It's the ultimate in the unknown - which is erotic to a lot of us.

But when I first saw this picture, I was a little concerned. My first thought whenever I see supposedly weird toys is not whether it's weird or disgusting or whatever some people might say about it - it's whether the toy is good quality and safe. This looked decidedly unsafe to me. I was concerned about what those eggs are made of, what the slimy substance that appears to be all over them is made of, what the egg-layer itself is made of, and where the heck people are putting those eggs!

But I read a review of the ovipositor and then went over to the site of the people that make it, Primal Hardware. I can't say for sure because I've never had one of these toys in my hands, but from everything I read, it seems like they know what they are doing. The toy is made from 100% silicone so it will be durable and easy to wash. I don't know how easy it is to get down into the bottom of that tube to wash it, but the material itself is washable and body-safe. The eggs are made from unflavored gelatin. The toy comes with an egg mold so you can make your own eggs. The gelatin, if you make it with no sugar and no coloring in it, should be safe to put inside the body. It dissolves quickly in body heat so it will just disappear. Now I honestly don't know about any health issues of putting that much gelatin in your anus or vagina and letting it dissolve. I doubt that it would cause any serious issues. They do say on the site that you can also make the eggs out of ice. That's probably not a great idea. It wouldn't cause serious damage but that's a pretty large ice cube directly against sensitive tissue. That could be very uncomfortable and could cause a bit of a an ice burn.

So, given that the toy seems mostly safe, or safeish, why not? If you have a fantasy of having an alien lay eggs inside of you, you're going to have a pretty tough time making that a reality. This is probably the closest you're ever going to get. And if this is exciting for you, this toy is probably pretty cool.

You won't find an Ovipositor on the shelf in your local sex shop though, you'll have to get it on-line.

Surprise, Surprise - well, not really.

So it has finally come out that Josh Duggar has been up to all kinds of sexual shenagins that he's been hoping to hide. This should be a surprise to no one. How many time have we seen the most vocal advocates of family values turn out to be guilty of the very things they are condemning others for?

Just a quick update if you haven't read my previous post about this dude. Josh Duggar is the oldest son of the Duggar family featured on the TLC show '19 Kids and Counting'. Until recently, he worked for the Family Research Council as an advocate and lobbyist for 'Family Values' policies in government (translation: he got paid to spread hatred against gay and trans people). He lost his job when it was revealed that he molested as least three girls when he was a teenager.

Now it seems that Josh has been caught up in the whole Ashley Madison scandal. Someone anonymously exposed account information that appears to show that he, until pretty darn recently, had an Ashley Madison account. Oh, by the way, Josh Duggar is married and has four children (I think it's four, I may have lost count). So ya, while he was preaching about family values in public, he was looking for hookups in private. It has also come to light that he may have had an OKCupid too.

Today, Josh published, and then quickly deleted, a statement saying that he cheated on his wife, is addicted to porn and is the biggest hypocrite ever and he is very sorry.

Okay - so first of all, let me just get this out of the way. It is entirely possible that none of this is true. There are people gunning for this guy and it is incredibly easy to set him up in this way. A child could create a fake account and hack their website to put up that statement. It does all seem just a little too perfect.

HOWEVER - even if this is not true, it's apparent from his previous actions that Josh Duggar has a lot of problems - particularly around sex.

This leads me to what I really want to say about this. I do not feel sorry for this guy and I do not excuse anything he has done, but it's not at all difficult to understand why he does these things.

We have seen time and time again, that attempts to subvert, ignore, repress, and condemn people's natural sexual inclinations simply does not work. People are sexual beings. Most of us have an urge to explore our sexuality and to connect with ourselves and others in a sexual way. This is a part of who we are as human beings. It's important for many reasons, not the least of which is that it contributes to us surviving as a species. It is not bad, abnormal, unnatural or sinful to have sexual thoughts and feelings and to want to act on that.

What is bad an unnatural is our culture's belief that sex is inherently evil and dangerous. When we try to keep people from exploring and expressing their natural sexual inclinations, good never results. What results is guilt and shame about things which people have very little control over. Then, sadly, what often also results is acting out in ways that hurt other people. It's quite obvious to me that if someone is denied any reasonable and harmless outlet for understanding and expressing their sexual feelings - ie. if they are not allowed to touch their own bodies or masturbate, if they are not allowed to look at porn or even to search for answers to their questions on the internet, if they are not allowed to ask their parents or anyone else in their life anything about sexuality, if they are not allowed to even look at, never mind touch, another human being in any sort of sexual or even affectionate way unless they are married to that person - something has to give somewhere. What happens is people do what they are naturally inclined to do, and then they LIE ABOUT IT! That's where the damage comes in - it's not from the questions or urges themselves, it's from doing them in a covert and underhanded way. That's what hurts people.

Think about it. If Josh Duggar had not been kept under a rock and actually taught the basics about sex and relationships, if he had not been pressured by his parents not to ever even touch another person until he was engaged to them, had he actually been allowed to do a little bit of questioning and experimenting before he got married and immediately started on a huge family, would any of this have happened? We can't know for sure that he wouldn't have molested those girls. But I have to venture to guess that had he been in a more open environment where he had been offered some information, validation of his feelings, and some sexual outlets - there's a good chance that he wouldn't have done what he did. There's also a high likelihood that if he did, it wouldn't have been covered up to the extent that it was and his sisters would have been able to actually talk about it and get some help.

See it's not the sex that does not the damage, it's the guilt and shame about it.

I have no respect for Josh Duggar but I do have to feel a bad for people like him who grow up feeling ashamed of their sexuality. Sadly, for many of them, this is where that can lead.