Wow! I just read an article about two people in California who teach sex education classes in schools being banned because of the things that they do outside of their work. I am generally against firing teachers for things that happen in their lives outside of the classroom (unless they are molesting children or something of that nature) but this, in particular, is ridiculous. One of these people (names are not given in the article) teaches classes at Good Vibrations sex toy store in Berkeley. The other attended CatalystCon - a biannual conference that covers all manner of topics related to sex. This person described themselves as a pleasure activist on twitter.
This is completely ridiculous. Good Vibrations is THE original sex-positive, women-friendly sex toy store. Even though ownership has changed, a lot of their educators remain the same. Their education has always been progressive, positive, responsible, inclusive, and above all, accurate. Their education department is staffed by such notable people as Carol Queen and Charlie Glickman. Carol freakin' Queen and Charlie freakin' Glickman!!! These people are recognized as leaders in their field and respected by sex educators worldwide! If this person is getting their education from the people at GoodVibes, the schools should be thanking their lucky stars that they managed to score such a well-connected and well-educated sex ed teacher.
CatalystCon is hands down the most amazing sex conference I've ever been to. This is a gathering of leaders in all areas related to progressive sexuality. It is not a 'porn conference' as the article states - although I wouldn't have a problem with that either. It is a sexuality conference. It covers everything including porn. When I went, I attended sessions on sexuality and disability, the pros and cons of circumcision, body positivity, sex toy safety, anal pleasure and health, educating educators, and feminist pornography among others.
Every person I have met through Good Vibes and CatalystCon has been devoted to the concept of sex-positive education. These are communities that believe deeply in fostering love of self, respect for others, and positive healthy sexuality. These are good things people!!!! The educators who were fired are not named but I'm willing to bet that I've met them. I would very much expect that they have the same attitude on sex ed as all the others I've met in these communities.
These are also rational, professional, respectful people who understand boundaries. They, I'm sure, would know what's appropriate for the classroom and what's not. Notice how the article does not say that they discussed sex toys, good vibes store, or pornography in detail in their classes. Note also, that the article does not say that they were any complaints about what actually happened in the classrooms. The complaints were only about what these people did outside of the classroom. Even if these activities were actually harmful, which they aren't, they don't affect the students in any way. It's exactly the same thing as a teacher who drinks or smokes pot at home. As long as they aren't doing that in the classroom or talking to the kids about it, it doesn't affect them. That's their life and their business.
It baffles me why people would have a problem with any of this. It's based on a bias about sex that is completely unfounded and never explored. Some person somehow finds one of these educators tweets that uses a swear word and says that they've been to a sex conference, and they totally lose their mind. They don't bother to find out what that conference is all about. They just assume that the educator is out to corrupt their kids and teach them how to make porn and use sex toys. It's a kneejerk response that's rooted in a fear of sex.
Given what I've been doing for the last year, this upsets me in particular. I've been involved in action to bar a biased sex-negative group from delivering sex education in our schools in Edmonton. This group presents abstinence only fear-based information that is not medically accurate. They attempt to scare young people away from having sex by exaggerating the risks and ignoring information on how to truly take care of your health. They do not include abortion information and they ignore even the existence of gay, lesbian, bixsexual and genderqueer students. THIS is the kind of 'education' that is allowed in schools and yet people who have a vast background in sexuality, actually really know and understand sex, are inclusive of all people, and want to help people love themselves and their potential partners, and inappropriate educators. It blows my mind.
I have asked if there is any sort of protest or action going on in support of these educators but haven't heard back yet. If I do, I will post.
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
Worst Name of a Sex Toy Ever
There's a new toy out has arguably the worst name for a sex toy ever thought up. It's called the 'Womanizer'. I haven't actually seen the toy yet, so it may actually be a good product. It's unlikely based on the idea. It has a tiny plastic hole/tube at the bottom of it that it supposed to 'suck' on the clitoris. It might works, who knows?
But the name and packaging are hilarious. They are clearly not paying the marketing person enough.
But the name and packaging are hilarious. They are clearly not paying the marketing person enough.
Thursday, December 18, 2014
'Reality' TV Out of Touch with Reality
The TV network A and E has announced that it's developing a new show called '8 minutes' in which a christian pastor tries to convince sex workers to leave sex work. The Daily Mail quotes A and E executive producer Tom Forman as saying 'This is one of those great shows that was actually happening whether anybody was shooting it or not." The Daily Mail article and A and E's press about the show describe the pastor, Kevin Brown, a former vice cop, as a compassionate savior, noting that he started his mission because he didn't want to spend his life putting girls in jail for prostitution, he wanted to help them. Brown formed a mission group that reaches out to young women in the sex trade and offers them them help and resources to get out of 'the life'. It sounds both heartwarming and gut-wrenching with a little touch of sex thrown in - exactly what reality tv show producers are looking for.
But when you think about the premise, it's actually pretty scary and more than just a little creepy. How do Brown and his group get in touch with these young sex workers? They go through back page ads for sex workers and contact them. They pose as potential clients, set up a meeting, and then when the person shows up, they say that they don't want sex, they want to help. Yes, apparently, they really do this.
Doing this in the first place is all kinds of wrong. It's deceptive and hurtful. That person is trying to work and they are interrupting their life and their work time to push their agenda without consent. Although this is never discussed in the media about the show or in the short clip I watched, I am pretty certain they don't give the person the money they had agreed to during the initial contact. So they've just taken this person's time and offered nothing in return.
Then there's the scarier aspect of this. First of all, I would be pretty pissed if I was one of those people lured to a meeting under false pretenses. Do any of them ever get violent or try to steal money from these 'outreach workers'? I wouldn't blame them for considering it. It's not safe for the mission people to be doing this. Even more of a concern is that it's not safe for the workers. Who's to say that everyone on this mission team is really there to help? It's exactly the kind of thing that attracts abusers. The chance to be alone in a hotel room with someone you see as young and vulnerable? If one of those mission workers abuses or assaults one of those sex workers, will the mission team, or anyone else believe them if they report it? 'But that guy's on the mission team, we know that he didn't go there for sex, you have to be lying because you're angry that you didn't get any money'. The whole thing is misguided, disrespectful and dangerous.
But then there's the whole added layer of putting this on television. There is no way that people are told beforehand that they will be filmed. To do that would destroy the entire premise of the setup. That means they are filming people without their permission. This is unethical and may even be illegal, but I'm sure A and E has their legal ducks in a row and is somehow covering their butts on that. Do they air the show without the person's permission? I would guess that they do in some cases. Why would people give their permission to have something like that on television? In the clip that I saw, the person's face was blurred out. This may be how they get around the need for consent, but it doesn't make it better to simply blur a person's face. That person still did not know that they were going into an intervention, and they didn't know that there was a camera when they chose to say whatever they said in that room. Whether you can see their face and know their name or not, putting that on television could still be psychologically harmful to that person. It's also not all that difficult to identify someone based on their location, their body and body language and mannerisms, and their voice (which did not sound as if it had been altered). That could be dangerous to the people being filmed. Anyway you slice this, it's disrespectful and unethical at best and dangerous and illegal at worst.
The main problem here is that while these people claim that all they want to do is help young girls have a better life, they are actually not seeing these people as people at all. Their focus is on their own beliefs and their own mission and what they believe is right and wrong. They haven't considered the realities for people who work in this way and what they might actually need. They are assuming that sex workers cannot make decisions for themselves - that they are in such a dire situation that the only way they will be able to get help is if some savior drops out of the blue and whisks them off to a better life. In reality people who do sex work are like everyone else. They have other parts of their life that happen when they are not working, even if they are actually being trafficked or controlled by someone else. They read magazines and newspapers, look at billboards, surf the internet just like anyone else. The respectful way to run a mission like this is to put information about your ministry and your services in places where sex workers might see them. Make your information as broadly accessible as possible and people will see it or be able to find it if they are looking. Then they can make the choice to contact someone for help if they want it. I know that the people in this group will probably say that the sex workers they 'help' are essentially prisoners of pimps who control everything they do. Therefore they can't make a phone call or meet with someone without being monitored. That's why they do this in such a covert way. I would argue that this is much more our perception of sex work that it is a reality. Certainly, this happens for some people but for the majority of people who work through print ads, that's not going to be the case. And again, it's making the assumption that this is the case for every single person they contact, without knowing anything about that person and their life. It's assuming that every person with an ad on that page is a helpless victim who wants to be saved.
I have a lot of problems with a lot of the reality stuff that A and E airs. Way back when it started, it was such a great network, with lots of classic movies and theatre and shows like Biography. Now it runs Intervention and Hoarders 24/7. Those are bad enough, but with this, they've really sunk to a new low. There is a change.org petition asking A and E to abandon their plans to broadcast this show. If you think it's as scary as I do, you might want to sign it.
But when you think about the premise, it's actually pretty scary and more than just a little creepy. How do Brown and his group get in touch with these young sex workers? They go through back page ads for sex workers and contact them. They pose as potential clients, set up a meeting, and then when the person shows up, they say that they don't want sex, they want to help. Yes, apparently, they really do this.
Doing this in the first place is all kinds of wrong. It's deceptive and hurtful. That person is trying to work and they are interrupting their life and their work time to push their agenda without consent. Although this is never discussed in the media about the show or in the short clip I watched, I am pretty certain they don't give the person the money they had agreed to during the initial contact. So they've just taken this person's time and offered nothing in return.
Then there's the scarier aspect of this. First of all, I would be pretty pissed if I was one of those people lured to a meeting under false pretenses. Do any of them ever get violent or try to steal money from these 'outreach workers'? I wouldn't blame them for considering it. It's not safe for the mission people to be doing this. Even more of a concern is that it's not safe for the workers. Who's to say that everyone on this mission team is really there to help? It's exactly the kind of thing that attracts abusers. The chance to be alone in a hotel room with someone you see as young and vulnerable? If one of those mission workers abuses or assaults one of those sex workers, will the mission team, or anyone else believe them if they report it? 'But that guy's on the mission team, we know that he didn't go there for sex, you have to be lying because you're angry that you didn't get any money'. The whole thing is misguided, disrespectful and dangerous.
But then there's the whole added layer of putting this on television. There is no way that people are told beforehand that they will be filmed. To do that would destroy the entire premise of the setup. That means they are filming people without their permission. This is unethical and may even be illegal, but I'm sure A and E has their legal ducks in a row and is somehow covering their butts on that. Do they air the show without the person's permission? I would guess that they do in some cases. Why would people give their permission to have something like that on television? In the clip that I saw, the person's face was blurred out. This may be how they get around the need for consent, but it doesn't make it better to simply blur a person's face. That person still did not know that they were going into an intervention, and they didn't know that there was a camera when they chose to say whatever they said in that room. Whether you can see their face and know their name or not, putting that on television could still be psychologically harmful to that person. It's also not all that difficult to identify someone based on their location, their body and body language and mannerisms, and their voice (which did not sound as if it had been altered). That could be dangerous to the people being filmed. Anyway you slice this, it's disrespectful and unethical at best and dangerous and illegal at worst.
The main problem here is that while these people claim that all they want to do is help young girls have a better life, they are actually not seeing these people as people at all. Their focus is on their own beliefs and their own mission and what they believe is right and wrong. They haven't considered the realities for people who work in this way and what they might actually need. They are assuming that sex workers cannot make decisions for themselves - that they are in such a dire situation that the only way they will be able to get help is if some savior drops out of the blue and whisks them off to a better life. In reality people who do sex work are like everyone else. They have other parts of their life that happen when they are not working, even if they are actually being trafficked or controlled by someone else. They read magazines and newspapers, look at billboards, surf the internet just like anyone else. The respectful way to run a mission like this is to put information about your ministry and your services in places where sex workers might see them. Make your information as broadly accessible as possible and people will see it or be able to find it if they are looking. Then they can make the choice to contact someone for help if they want it. I know that the people in this group will probably say that the sex workers they 'help' are essentially prisoners of pimps who control everything they do. Therefore they can't make a phone call or meet with someone without being monitored. That's why they do this in such a covert way. I would argue that this is much more our perception of sex work that it is a reality. Certainly, this happens for some people but for the majority of people who work through print ads, that's not going to be the case. And again, it's making the assumption that this is the case for every single person they contact, without knowing anything about that person and their life. It's assuming that every person with an ad on that page is a helpless victim who wants to be saved.
I have a lot of problems with a lot of the reality stuff that A and E airs. Way back when it started, it was such a great network, with lots of classic movies and theatre and shows like Biography. Now it runs Intervention and Hoarders 24/7. Those are bad enough, but with this, they've really sunk to a new low. There is a change.org petition asking A and E to abandon their plans to broadcast this show. If you think it's as scary as I do, you might want to sign it.
Friday, December 12, 2014
Robot Handjobs
I came across this video from Huffington Post about Robot Handjobs. I was pretty excited about it - it's the kind of thing that excites me. but then they showed the robot hand job and it doesn't seem like anything special. It's a robotic arm with a tenga sleeve attached to it. It looks incredibly cumbersome. There's a lot of stuff and it looks kind of difficult to control. I don't have a penis to use this on, so perhaps I'm wrong, but I'm guessing just using the Tenga or finding someone else to use it on you would be less difficult, far less expensive, and much less noisy. The upside is that all of this experimentation has to lead to a really functional fun robot toy sometime. Doesn't it?
There are dangers of course, as seen here.
There are dangers of course, as seen here.
Thursday, December 4, 2014
2014 Unusual Sex Toys Gift Guide
I wasn't able to find the on-line version of this column that was printed in VUE Weekly last week. So I'm reprinting here.
It’s that time of year again. Time for my annual list of unique and unusual sex themed gift ideas for that hard-to-buy-for pervert on your Christmas list. Here are my top picks for 2014.
Foria Lubricant. There are a lot of personal lubricants on the market but this one is definitely stands out. Foria contains cannabis oil. That’s right, it’s pot lube. The makers of Foria claim that it aids in relaxation during sex and contributes to stronger, more intense orgasms. It sounds amazing, but sadly, you can only buy Foria if you live in California and have a medical marijuana prescription.
Cartoon sex toy vibrators. For those who enjoy adult toys that look like children’s toys, check out this line of cartoon vibrators. These look like giant Lego people with elongated heads (I’ll leave it up to your imagine as to what the elongated head is for). Choose from circus clown, Japanese girl, policewoman, fireman or chef. You can collect the whole set! I would suggest avoiding Japenese girl and policewoman, though, as they look like they’ve got some rather pointed, pokey, plastic hair. Do choose carefully as the website notes that due to hygiene concerns, they do not accept returns.
Teddy Love. If the pervert on your list prefers plushies to plastic toys, you’re in luck. Teddy Love is a soft, huggable Teddy Bear that goes down on you! His cute little nose and tongue vibrate. Settings for the vibrators are in his ears. Grab Teddy’s ears and go! If that isn’t creepy enough for you, consider the instructions for using Teddy Love on guys. “You can flip Teddy Love upside down and the nose can go around the anus and the tongue can touch the taint. “
Light saber inspired flogger. For the kinky geek, or the geeky kinkster, this beautiful leather flogger has a handle that looks just like a light saber from Star Wars – non-functioning unfortunately. You could even pair this with the Light Saber inspired acrylic cane.
Famous Figure Butt Plugs. If they’re more into anal play than vibrators, check out politicalsculptor.com. Here you can find a selection of butt plugs in the shape of famous people who seem like the perfect fit for a butt toy. Choose from Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson, late Westboro Baptist leader Fred Phelps, or Russian president Vladimir Putin.
Luxury Pasties. For the perv with expensive taste, our friends at Coco de Mer in London have a new line of latex pasties at only for $71 a pair. Why so much for latex pasties? Because they’re made by Coco de Mer.
Pearl Royalle. Finally, if $71 pasties are not luxurious enough for that special someone, consider the Pearl Royalle by Australian jewelry designer Colin Burns. Deemed the most expensive vibrator in the world, this toy is solid platinum and is embellished with over 1,000 white diamonds, royal blue sapphires, pearls and pink diamonds. You may need a payment plan for this one. The price tag on the Pearl Royalle is a cool $1 million.
It’s that time of year again. Time for my annual list of unique and unusual sex themed gift ideas for that hard-to-buy-for pervert on your Christmas list. Here are my top picks for 2014.
Foria Lubricant. There are a lot of personal lubricants on the market but this one is definitely stands out. Foria contains cannabis oil. That’s right, it’s pot lube. The makers of Foria claim that it aids in relaxation during sex and contributes to stronger, more intense orgasms. It sounds amazing, but sadly, you can only buy Foria if you live in California and have a medical marijuana prescription.
Cartoon sex toy vibrators. For those who enjoy adult toys that look like children’s toys, check out this line of cartoon vibrators. These look like giant Lego people with elongated heads (I’ll leave it up to your imagine as to what the elongated head is for). Choose from circus clown, Japanese girl, policewoman, fireman or chef. You can collect the whole set! I would suggest avoiding Japenese girl and policewoman, though, as they look like they’ve got some rather pointed, pokey, plastic hair. Do choose carefully as the website notes that due to hygiene concerns, they do not accept returns.
Teddy Love. If the pervert on your list prefers plushies to plastic toys, you’re in luck. Teddy Love is a soft, huggable Teddy Bear that goes down on you! His cute little nose and tongue vibrate. Settings for the vibrators are in his ears. Grab Teddy’s ears and go! If that isn’t creepy enough for you, consider the instructions for using Teddy Love on guys. “You can flip Teddy Love upside down and the nose can go around the anus and the tongue can touch the taint. “
Light saber inspired flogger. For the kinky geek, or the geeky kinkster, this beautiful leather flogger has a handle that looks just like a light saber from Star Wars – non-functioning unfortunately. You could even pair this with the Light Saber inspired acrylic cane.
Famous Figure Butt Plugs. If they’re more into anal play than vibrators, check out politicalsculptor.com. Here you can find a selection of butt plugs in the shape of famous people who seem like the perfect fit for a butt toy. Choose from Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson, late Westboro Baptist leader Fred Phelps, or Russian president Vladimir Putin.
Luxury Pasties. For the perv with expensive taste, our friends at Coco de Mer in London have a new line of latex pasties at only for $71 a pair. Why so much for latex pasties? Because they’re made by Coco de Mer.
Pearl Royalle. Finally, if $71 pasties are not luxurious enough for that special someone, consider the Pearl Royalle by Australian jewelry designer Colin Burns. Deemed the most expensive vibrator in the world, this toy is solid platinum and is embellished with over 1,000 white diamonds, royal blue sapphires, pearls and pink diamonds. You may need a payment plan for this one. The price tag on the Pearl Royalle is a cool $1 million.
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