I went to see the movie Don Jon last night. I was really looking forward to this one because I think Joseph Gordon-Levitt is an under-rated and excellent actor and I LOVE Scarlett Johansson. I want very much for her to be my girlfriend - but of course that would involve actually meeting her first. Plus, the movie is about porn and sex - two things about which I am infinitely interested. Sadly, it left me disappointed and not just a little angry. I actually felt like I wanted to barf at the end and I will get to why.
But first, there were some good things about the movie. The way it approaches the whole issue of objectification - both sexual and non - is pretty interesting. It's a theme that comes up in several ways and a few of them, unlike most of the movie, are pretty subtle. Jon and his friends are stereotypical womanizers. They go to bars and talk about women based on the way they are dressed - 'look at white shorts over there!' and rate them on a number scale based on their appearance. Jon looks for 8's,9's and 10's where his friend admits that he can't get an 8 but he'll settle for a 4 because they try harder. It's rather disgusting and it's meant to be. This behavior is not portrayed as admirable. Jon takes these women home, has sex with them, and then never sees them again. He claims that he enjoys sex but not as much as he likes watching porn because sex with these women is boring, he rarely gets what he really wants, and he has to do things that he doesn't really like doing. He can lose himself with porn where that never happens with a live woman. This treatment of objectification is rather heavy-handed and judgemental. I don't like what they're doing either but neither do I enjoy the heavy dose of judgement placed on them for it. What's interesting is where objectification comes up in other ways. Jon's eventual girlfriend Barbara is shown assessing him with her girlfriends, mainly on the basis of his looks and his ability to earn money. This is not condemned as severely but it's a nice twist that it's presented. She does it too - just in a different way. In fact, Jon's mother does it too - viewing Jon mostly in terms of his ability to give her grandchildren and thinking that only a wife and kids will give his life meaning. I enjoyed that more subtle take on the different ways we objectify people.
At first, the movie seems quite sympathetic to Jon's porn habit. He explains pretty clearly why he's into it and it makes a lot of sense. It even compares his love of porn to Barbara's love of sappy, romantic comedies. I liked that a lot. Both are idealizations. Both are fantasies. Both could be viewed as unhealthy if you really look at it and both could be viewed as harmless. So what's the real difference? One of my favorite moments is when Barbara, in an attempt to explain why porn is different than romantic comedies, states that they gives awards for movies. Don spits right back, 'They give awards for porn too!'.
Here comes the spoiler part - if you still want to see this movie, you probably don't want to read the rest of this.
There are definitely some things to like about this movie and some things to think about. HOWEVER! With most of the themes, it is extremely heavy-handed and obvious. I told my partner on the way home that I felt a headache coming on from being beaten across the head with a two by four all night. You can predict most of the eventual outcomes before the action gets started. It doesn't take time to delve deeper into the issues, instead choosing to rely on cheesy movie shorthand such as narration, repetition, and obvious foreshadowing to get the point across. Worst of all, although it starts out looking like it is sympathetic to Jon and his interest in porn, that is a red herring. In the end we do find out that Jon's porn habit really is hurting him and is symptomatic of his inability to connect with real live people. The only way he will have a fulfilling relationship is to give up the porn and connect with a real person. And guess what? He does! He meets THE ONE and stops watching porn. Gag me!
Had they chosen to end this differently and not tie it up in such a neat bow, I could have liked it. But to have him have one amazing sexual experience and decide that's what life is all about and he's not going to watch porn anymore is cheap, easy, and horribly stereotypical and judgemental. It just makes it come down to that same old trope that we always hear that porn is ALWAYS objectification and ALWAYS bad for you and anyone in a good sexual relationship wouldn't and shouldn't want to watch it. I think that is flat out dangerous. It can make people think that there is something wrong with them or their relationship if they still masturbate and/or watch porn. We are all sexual people. Some of us have very high sex drives. And some of us really enjoy watching people have sex and/or having sex with ourselves. None of those interests or needs disappear just because we're in a good relationship. This idea conflates two things that are quite separate and lays blame for instincts and actions which natural and blameless.
I really wanted Jon to keep watching porn and to keep having his amazing sex. That is entirely possible and it's what many people do. I also wanted to know if his new girlfriend would have a cow if she caught him watching porn. That would have been interesting.
With a much lighter hand and less of a propensity to tie things up quickly, this could have been a very interesting and challenging movie. Instead, it added another movie to the pile that tells us there's only one way to find sexual happiness and that doesn't include watching porn.
